Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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