There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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