I just pynch a tree in the face
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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