it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wish I only lived at night.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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