i love accidental penises.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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