this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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