This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
