At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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