just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
