Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
