PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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