never play flip cup with pint glasses
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize