I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
