the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
