Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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