I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
