What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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