she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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