You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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