i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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