i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I love you. Go after that dick
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