so that wasnt chicken after all
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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