Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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