I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
