It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
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Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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