i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize