Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
