So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
