I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
