doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
