STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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