If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
