I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
