he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
