another moral hangover. fuck.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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