god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
