I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
