That's intense
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
