I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
