Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
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You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
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He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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