office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
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I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
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It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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