The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize