K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
