Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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