So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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