White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
