There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.