What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I will be naked everywhere
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
