Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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