I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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