If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
ttyl tear gas
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
