I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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