if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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