He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
In America we eat man semen.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Randomize
