I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
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i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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