Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize
