Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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