Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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