It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
