i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize